Shelter over head

I don’t understand why is it so hard to find a decent home in Singapore. Why has there been a surge of applicants doubling up to the number of units offered. Yes, I know the population has tremendously increased for the few years and somehow everyone is pointing fingers blaming the government for the leniency to foreigners’ entitlement or lack of vision to housing problems. I don’t give a freaking damn about any of it.

It’s really frustrating to be disappointed over and over again when you find out that you didnt get the balloted queue number within the number of units that are available. I think Singapore is the only country that has this stupid balloting system – just saying unless I honestly have better suggestions. Worse of all, every unit is shrinking in size and the price has gotten sky rocketed high. I almost give up hope!

I’m not being ungrateful for what my life has given me or the fact that I still DO have a shelter over my head with mom, but I do want to be able to bring up my kids in my own home. A space where you can enjoy privacy and ownership. I wonder if anyone EVER understands my ranting over this. Sigh.

Me and fiancé are considering resale flat if our next application does not get through and that will be next best alternative to fit both our preference and financial needs.

I’ve been surveying a couple of flats online which carry more than what we ask for with low cash up fronts, ALOT spacious and cost almost the same as BTOs. The only setback about resale flat is you are unlikely to find a house that suits your personal taste or concept and you’ll have to end up paying more for renovation works due to hacking etc. But that is my least worry, really. As long as I have a place to call my own home, I can make do with anything to feel comfortable.


Cold feet and jitters.

Amidst all the wedding hype, I had moments when my happy thoughts were held back by some unnecessary uncertainties and anxieties. Im not sure if that’s what they call cold feet but it’s giving me a few restless nights in a row for couple of occasion. It puts me in low moods for no apparent reason. I just couldn’t place the main contributor to this.

Could it be the stress and pressure from all the planning? Probably it’s the money issues? Or the fear of an impending false hope or unexpected turn of events? Wedding jitters are supposed to be mild and healthy in a sense. Some believe it could be a more serious cause; that you are having doubts and second thoughts about the wedding.

After the first engagement with my ex-fiance, i had serious problem with my pre-wedding jitters that i broke down a couple of times. I thought it was perfectly normal to feel that way. Besides, jitters are vastly common experiences amongst all brides- and grooms-to-be. But, it escalated to a point when I had constant insecurities and felt detached with all the planning because of issues that never had a proper closure. My ex fiance is a man of few words and one who is not in touch with his feelings or mine, whereas i hunger for all the attention and affection in a relationship. Honestly, we never had a heart to heart conversation and he never talked about his pasts (which made it difficult for me to understand him). Then i ask myself, why should i be deprived of it? I thought of how depressing my future will be sleeping with a man i barely know after 6 years!

So that’s the end of it. It was the most difficult period for me. 3 months before the supposed wedding date, i had to deal with people asking me about the wedding progression and i had to subtly veer my way through to escape interrogation. Since i was the party who called off the wedding, i know how the whole world looked at me. I could see all fingers pointing, like I’m the bad guy, i am stupid, it’s my loss. I’ve shamed the family name. But it was a relief and, believe it or not, i feel that it was something i should have done way before.

So, back to the present, the jitters I’ve been having is nothing like the previous ones. Good jitters, i should say. I have no worries for my future after the wedding with mr fiance. He is an exceptionally loving person who doesn’t feel ashamed of expressing his affection (which i like!). We talked openly about past encounters from the love crushes to ex-partners and share a lot of common interest together. The fact that we are on the same wavelength in our perception and thinking, we appreciate each other’s differences and solve disagreements amicably. It felt like we had known each other for a long time.

Well, i can safely say that, perhaps, whatever im going through is just normal. maybe it’s my bridal nerves cracking up into a bridezilla. LOL! silly i know. I am undoubtedly thankful for this wonderful journey. i hope that despite the hiccups or whatever bumps there may be, me and my dearest will hold strong to bring this relationship into a whole new level.. Insyallah.

Bride and godzilla

Last month, as i was flipping through channels at my aunt’s, i came across this documentary on Women Entertainment about BRIDEZILLAS! we know what they say about being one montrous bride-to-be, but i always believe that every women has a tiny weeny desire to be this infamous iconic label because of its immediate effect on attention and glamorous stature. 😀

Karen is one of the huge highlights in this programme because of her quick tougue to judge anyone below her. Her words were uttered like there’s no affect in this world. She is ruthless and her downright inappropriate character made her a popular lookup bridezilla in the internet – some impression she had made for herself. Do watch because she is ridiculously entertaining..


Dark sides

Had a chat with a colleague at work the other day about a young Malay girl in her early 20s who came to the department with her bloated stomach for 3 months after giving birth. According to her parents, she hadn’t been herself, reserved and hostile, and vomiting blood since then. They had brought her to see many physicians before but they still couldnt find the cause to treat her. She later died after a day or two in the hospital.

Recently, I encountered a similar complaint from a 29 years old patient. She had been vomiting blood for couple of weeks but no signs of distention. She was discharged against medical advice from another hospital 2 days earlier and was forced to come to us for further treatment by her family and friends. She obviously looked pale and weak due to the tremendous blood loss, her lips were badly cracked with dried blood and her eyes were dirty yellow. Initially, i thought she probabaly has some autoimmune disease or kidney problem but later found out that she has no known medical history. She was a healthy person before this. The doctors were as clueless and puzzled at her blood results but still couldnt get a provisional diagnosis. She was sent to the ICA.

i didnt think of anything out of the usual. As a healthcare provider, we treat patients based on their clinical assessment and follow their progress as per protoccol. And being me, i’m a super practical person. in other words, im not so kolot la kan. Although i know such phenomenon exists, i am unlikely to give “supernatural” a priority to every reasons or stories. Adalah orang yang sikit2 benda jadi tak baik jer, cakap kene buat orang la bomoh la etc etc.

However, these two stories are no coincidental and teased my skeptical thinking. I wonder what this two women have done to deserve such sufferings. Kadang2, jadi manusia ni susah.. Jadi baik org jeles, jadi jahat org benci.. haiz. I know it’s a sin for us to believe such karut but “black magic” comes from way before and still possible in the modern world. Ishk seliseh! i pray that we avoid such evil doings and deeds, and embrace the teaching of Islam and only in Him we seek help and guidance.

Vera, the Russian Blue

Vera is turning 1 year old soon. I got her from a pet shop at Holland V, All Breed Pets Shop, about late last year. Believe it or not, I’ve been looking for a Russian Blue for freaking 2 years only to know that this shop carries this breed. They have alot of other popular breeds like the British Shorthair, Norwegian Forest, Maine Coon, Siamese etc.

I know many cat lovers disagree with purchasing cats from pet shops and believe that by adopting strays or one from a shelter will make these felines live better lives because there are cats which had been and/or are living in difficult conditions. They think that all cats should be given the same treatment not based on their fur texture, color or breed characteristics. From the perspective of a catlover myself, i agree and understand their sentiments and concerns but let’s question ourselves again, do cats from petshops really have better quality life than strays? When i visited the petshop again the other day and saw all the gorgeous beautiful cats behind the glass, i said “oh dear..” and i felt.. sad. i wonder if these lovely cats will EVER have a proper home, and how much longer are they gonna be stucked into the routine of being trapped in an enclosed place (i learnt that they are rotated to another place every other week).

The first time i saw Vera and her sister, i half heartedly choose her, only her, and left the other behind. (im so teary now!) later i hated myself for seperating the only family Vera had; her sister. i never went back to the shop for a very long time. i only did once after a petschannel forumer mentioned that someone had bought Vera’s sister and pray that she is also in a better home herself. sigh.

i still feel guilty, though.. 😥

Vera is currently my ultimate obsession (besides the wedding) and i hope that i had been a good carer for her.. I am happy that mom and brother are approving of her and love her just as much as i do.

Vera, on the first day we brought her home.

Vera carried by fiance. She is known to be quite friendly to strangers.

On her new bed which she rarely sleeps in now because she outgrown it.

She was getting used to her new home.. 🙂

Vera was neutered so she had her e collar on.

Quite a playful one she is.

Sleeping on my bed.

One down and more to go..

Im SSSOOOO happy and elated that we’ve finally come to a decision on an perfect bridal package after meeting Kak Suraya! 🙂

In addition to that, we also engaged Abg Yazid from Lane 60 to be our pre wedding photgrapher! Btw.. it wasn’t a implusive decision. Initially, when we heard about Lane 60 last year, i hesitated and unconvinced with what he can produce because the company is still considered “green” and i could not get alot of reviews or feedbacks from his work. Little did i know Abg Yazid used to work with a well known wedding photography company for some impressive years before leaving and went solo. After a short visit to his place at Woodlands to look at his pieces, I was pretty amazed at his work. By the way he speaks, I can tell that Abg Yazid is very enthusiastic as a professional photographer. He is full of fresh new ideas and loves/dares to do something different. He gave a handful of suggestions as to what me and fiance may want to do for our pre wedding shoots. One of which im considering is taking portraits in the middle of a busy Orchard road with white wedding dress! (i think i came across a similar background years ago and i really liked it!) Me and fiance are definitely looking forward to work with him on our upcoming shoots in September, insyallah.

Anyway, now back to Chinta, had fun trying out all the different tanjak for fiance because he is also getting into the moods of the wedding preps. Kak Suraya was very helpful and patient that she even layan my husband-to-be with his dream ideal tanjak! He and his karena.. She even let us take photos with it so we can show it to whoever we think is relevant to give their opinion.

I, on the other hand, was taking chances and browsed through the bridal collection when i came across this peachy songket and fell in love with it at once. Kak Suraya said the songket is the heaviest outfit she has and i can tell why; the embroideries and cloth are made of superb quality. Im a die hard songket lover so, to wear one with sanggul lintang on the event day is a must and part of the plan from the very beginning of this whole process. *excited much can!*

Then… in the midst of all the excitement there, sister in law texted me and asked what is the color of my baju sanding.. I panicked! Mestilahkan.. i haven’t do any selection of outfits yet.. i cannot even gauged whether it’ll be light or dark tone, because i have not seen ALL the baju. I may have what i want in mind but nothing is confirmed yet because i need to consider the background of my deco and the variety of outfits that im gonna choose. So that’ll have to wait till July.

Overall, it was indeed a fruitful meet-up and we were absolutely satisfied with how smooth-flowing the day went.. 😉

how many is too much

I’m so excited to meet Kak Suraya this coming monday to confirm a suitable bridal package. I had booked Chinta for my wedding since years ago! (yes, 3 years ago. why? later i storytelling) Initially the package i signed up before she took over Chinta includes 8 outfits (for both event and photoshoot) plus indoor/outdoor photoshoot but 3 years on she cant expect me to pay the same price for that much service. of course i understand her because inflation is a BITCH.

Now, after much consideration, i think 8 outfits is beyond what i can managed. I am tailoring my nikah costume so if i continue to take 8 outifts im gonna have a major headache deciding what to wear when, when to wear what and what is what. Confused? See what i mean.

Hopefully i can come to a solid conclusion after meeting her. One tip from future sis-in-law: Cut down on the unnecessary to avoid future complications. True that. *thumbs up*